What to expect during conception....

Conception - Why I chose to write Milk Drunk: What to Expect When You’re Not Expecting

For some, the path of writing a book is easy. For others, it’s a time-consuming challenge. Hi, I’m the others.

I stumbled onto my journey in 2020. Before that, I had no intention of writing a book. I hated English class, reading is like a chore, my spelling is atrocious, grammar is an enemy of mine and I find myself easily bored with the industry. Harsh, I know. Though I will say, I love how a library smells and the sound an old hard cover book makes when you open it.

Weird, I get it.

So how the hell was I able to write a manuscript and have it published? Patience, determination, devotion, hard work, encouragement, and a lot of help from Indigo River Publishing.

I started Milk Drunk: What to Expect When You’re Not Expecting in the spring of 2020 after a cousin who recently got married asked me when she could expect the line of baby questioning to end. By her knowing I didn’t have children, she wanted a reliable answer from someone who has experienced this in life. The reliable answer I gave her, “It doesn’t end.” 

After that conversation, I started to think about all the baby questions and encounters I experienced thus far. At first it was a handful of recalled moments, but then the flood gates opened. Memories, encounters, confrontations, discussions, and emotions flowed through my mind like a raging river. I started to relive all those occasions and found myself swimming in a sea of significance.

Making sure I captured the many life stories I had, the scientist in me started to make a list. I am a visual person who grew up without the technology we use today, so I went to my trusted pen and paper vigorously writing down scenes. Page after page were scenarios that invaded my life simply because I chose not to have a child. I couldn’t believe how much text was created on one single topic. A topic I felt alone in. I showed my husband what I was working on, and he stated I had enough material to draft a book. I laughed. I don’t know how to write a book and why would anyone want to read it?

Still blown away by the amount of material I had, I started to think about my cousin. She wasn’t sure if children were in her future and wanted guidance on how to approach the subject. Was I not alone with this topic? Maybe there was a larger audience who didn’t want children or are debating to start a family?  Could I provide some guidance on what to expect when they’re not expecting?

I had zero confidence I could or wanted to write a book, so I decided to translate my thoughts to a blog. Not that I had any experience doing this either, it simply seemed more attainable.

I took my paper list and started to group the encounters. Reading the list, I identified themes and summaries. I bought multicolored index cards, assigned specific colors to each theme, and coordinated the relatable scenarios. This provided a way to view the amount of information I had per category.

There was a total of 15 different colored categories, some having much more context than others. Rereading the themes that had minimal work, I decided to combine them with comparable topics already assigned. On a side note, I thought this approach was juvenile and demonstrated my lack of experience, however, when I signed my contract with Indigo River Publishing, they assured me a writer’s approach is as unique and effective as the writer themselves.

Staring at my apartment floor littered with colored index cards, I realized I might have too much information just for a blog. Maybe a book was necessary. But I suck at writing and don’t know where to start.

Hold up! I was putting the cart way before the horse and unfairly determining myself a failure before I began.

Truth be told I wanted to tell my story and the best platform to do so was a book. Do I want to have it published? Of course. Will someone buy it to publish? Probably not. Do you want to self-publish? Nope. Nope. Nope. I don’t want to invest that much on research, money, or time.  Worst comes to worst; I’ll simply post the world’s longest “blog” if the book scenario doesn’t work out.

It was at that moment I decided to stop making excuses and start writing based on my personality. It didn’t need to be perfect, it simply needed to be authentic.

The 12 colored theme index cards became my chapters, and to avoid being discouraged with the process, I decided the tone must unapologetically represent my personality. It needs to reflect all of me or nothing at all. I tapped into a specific moment in high school when preparing to start. I was in English Honors class – not because I was brilliant at this subject, but because I was in all other honors classes. I barely passed the assignments because I was disinterested, except for one project. We were told to read The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. I was glued to the book. The story, the writing style, the simplistic flow. It was engaging to me. After reading the book, the students were to write a short story of any topic, based on the tone and writing style of J.D. Salinger. It was by far the easiest and fastest assignment I completed. I felt excitement and creativity instead of dread and procrastination. It showed. It was the only A I received in that class. Channeling that momentum (albeit 20 years ago), I started to write.

I didn’t google or research how to write a manuscript. I simply translated the thoughts in my head to sentences and typed out the cognitive diarrhea - remembering to cautiously avoid the need for perfection. A trait that should not dictate momentum, especially when attempting to write a book.

I wrote this book during the pandemic. Though I had less distractions because everything was shut down, my work schedule was intense due to most of my team being furloughed excluding myself and a handful of developers. Being classified as an essential company, our production intensified, supply chains collapsed, and demand was high. I found myself working 12-14 hours daily and though writing a book might seem like more work, it was an escape from reality. Every day after work, dinner, and exercise, I chose to apply effort towards the book. Depending on my mood I would write a chapter, proofread, revise, or take notes towards the manuscript. I did not put pressure on myself with a timeline, milestone, or goals. Again, I wanted this project to be an experience that didn’t turn a passion into forced routine or another necessary job. I took a minimalistic approach each day to complete this endeavor - No technical tools, writing guides, or a comfortable working area, just a high-top table, index cards, paper, a blue stick pen, laptop, and a word document. Oddly enough this was therapeutic.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t always gravy. Writing this manuscript took significant devotion, attention, patience, and leeway. There were many times throughout this process I questioned what and why I was doing this. So much effort and time from my life, for what? No one to read. Your confidence in the objective teeters and you find yourself wondering if it’s worth the hassle.

But I knew I had something to say on this topic. No one has truly heard me explain my experiences and the belief in this mission was why I continued to push through writing the manuscript.

I started writing the manuscript in April of 2020 and completed it February 2021. Some might think that timeline is amazing, let me assure you, it is. I can say after my entire experience, seasoned writers can take as little as a few months to complete their book or up to a few years. I finished mine in less than a year while working full time. Each day referencing those colored index cards and notes. I’d find myself working, watching TV, or listening to music and some element of that common reality triggered me to incorporate into the manuscript. It could range from scenery description, music lyrics, or television quotes. Etc. In my mind, it was relatable and provided another layer. The story was told as if I was having a conversation with the reader. Was that a good thing? I didn’t know. I thought so. Everything made sense to me. I wrote the chapters, proofread, and had my husband read each chapter and provide feedback. Sure, I finished a 253-page, 12-chapter book that was seen through my eyes in 10 months. The caveat, my manuscript was a hot mess.

I’m sure some of you reading this are not surprised my first ever manuscript needed a lot of work. You probably found mistakes or have constructive criticism on this blog entry alone. I understand. The point of sharing is to provide encouragement to those wanting to tell a story, not to promote me as the most talented author. Yes, my knowledge as an author still needs to grow, but even the most seasoned writers experience dumpster fire first drafts, knowledge growth, and failures. Another lesson I was taught by Indigo River Publishing. However, because my story had a solid premise and a strong foundation it was ready for the next step – even with my lack of experience.

What was the next step? Check back for the latest blog entry “The First Trimester” where I discuss the steps I took to find my publisher, Indigo River Publishing.