Milk Drunk: What to Expect When You're Not Expecting

Excerpt Chapter 8 - Passport Stamps

Get ready to go on a trip around the world. This chapter will cover the encounters I experienced across the globe discussing my child-free life and how the different cultures reacted. Want to go to Thailand? Open to Chapter 8. Wished you knew more about Brazil, granted. Ever wanted to go to South Africa, voila. This quick read can give you an inclination of the environments I experienced. It’s cheaper than a plane ticket, that’s for sure. Below is a small excerpt from Milk Drunk: What to Expect When You’re Not Expecting Chapter 8 Passport Stamps.

Throughout my travels, I’ve learned there are words universally understood without even speaking. Love can be shown through a comforting embrace or a sincere smile. Sadness is represented by true tears of pain. Anger proves that the resting bitch face is a global phenomenon.

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It’s fair to state I was limited in my exposures, so I do understand I am characterizing moments universally. With that said, every race, religion, and culture wanted to hear my story, while wishing me happiness. I am sure some did not agree with my choice and simply internalized the opposition. That is fortunate for me, since “Du wirst deine Entscheidung" sounds pretty extreme in German versus the American counterpart: “You’ll regret your decision!”

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With my discussions of children, my experience in Bauru Brazil was that family is everything, and children are the key to the future. What I also experienced was that being an aunt or uncle who instills knowledge, morals, and love was sufficient in life as well. Of course, a child of your own is the ultimate blessing, but the love provided to others is just as powerful. For me, Brazil’s response assured my responsibility to be an amazing role model for my nephews. They also showed the importance of growing a family tree, but without the root, there would be no tree to grow.

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A local coworker set up a dinner for me and his family at an authentic hot pot restaurant while in Beijing. His wife and friends spoke decent English, so we were able to communicate with less barriers. Food was plentiful, adult beverages were flowing, and the conversation was staccato yet engaging.

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At first the family and friends were surprised I was willing to try anything local. Their experiences with Americans involved steak, beer, potatoes, and bread. So when I asked for the tripe, different seafoods, and Chinese greens, they were proudly impressed, which drove conversations. Not overly boisterous or loud, everyone at the table had small smiles and happy expressions while discussing topics.

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“Do you like all kinds of food?” one person asked.

“Actually, no. I don’t like red meat, cheese, or sauces. And I am not a huge fan of chocolate. But I will try something local out of respect and wonder,” I said.

Normally, in the US, if someone hears I dislike American food staples, I end up being on trial. But with this group, we sat there in brief silence afterwards until another person brought up another topic.

“Do you like working as a product scientist?” another person asked.

“Yes. I feel comfortable with this career and enjoy what I do. What do you all do?” I asked in return.

“Finance.”

“Teacher.”

“New mom.”

“Congratulations!” I enthusiastically stated to the new mom at the table.

With a small smile, she replied, “Thank you.”

“Are you glad to be out of the house?” I asked.

Staring directly into my eyes, she took a deep breath and said, “Yes!”

“Do you have children?” she asked.

“No, I decided I did not want to have children. It’s just me and my husband,” I answered.

And with a small nod of sincerity and approval, the woman said, “That’s enough.”

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I fully believe that we travel not to escape life but for life not to escape us. In many cases, exposure to different cultures, religions, history, and even food can broaden one’s perspective of the world and even oneself. My global journey has proven to expand my acceptance and independence, all while emphasizing the importance of children. One thing universally holds true: family can be defined in many ways, with the common denominator always being the need to feel like we’re home.