Excerpt Chapter 3 - Materialistic and Superficial

 

     

 

This chapter focuses on the numerous encounters, outside judgements, and ugly assumptions people make of me simply because I don’t have a child. From body images, finances, material possessions, lifestyle, career, and even alcohol, I describe a slue of encounters this superficial topic plays when child-free. Grab your popcorn because the entertainment is off the chart with this chapter. Below is a small excerpt from Milk Drunk: What to Expect When You’re Not Expecting Chapter 3 Materialistic and Superficial.

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People assume my life starts off with hard work and ends with champagne. Although that sounds amazing, it isn’t necessarily true. Yes, I work hard, and sometimes I celebrate life in the manner of a cocktail or three at the end of the day, but my life is not a bubbly celebration of stress-free adventures simply because I don’t have a child. I am fully aware my life may look easier in some respects, but that doesn’t mean I’m not emotionally or physically struggling in life. Last time I checked, many of my friends who have children also own stock in Bottle King or Wine Emporium—which is phenomenal.

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With the perception of an easier life, being defined as materialistic or superficial follow. Between being asked if I have no desire to give up drinking to whether I have a possible fear of becoming fat during pregnancy, these examples illustrate predetermined judgments of my life. Sometimes those exterior claims made me wonder what type of vibes I was sending out. That contemplation proved vibes were not the issue, just the common battle of assumptions versus my reality.

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I was visiting a manufacturing plant where a coworker was speaking to line operators. She was discussing the family wedding she had recently attended, from the beautiful church ceremony to the “distasteful” reception celebration with alcohol. As I walked in halfway through the conversation, she was emphatically describing how disgraceful alcohol is. Normally I respect and listen to people’s beliefs, but when preaching is involved, it becomes harder to show attentiveness (and she was a “preacher”).

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“You understand alcohol clouds your judgment of life? The miracle of life is impacted by the Devil Juice!” she protested.

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Finding her lecture not only entertaining but one-sided, I just stared at her with a smirk on my face.

Continuing to push her ideologies on me, she focused her attention more on my connection to alcohol. “If you can’t separate the need for alcohol, you are weak. It is probably a good thing you didn’t bring a child into the world!”

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Everyone stood there, frozen and in shock, including me. I’m assuming their quiet expressions were directly related to her abusive comments toward me.

I just walked away. Not because her comment struck a chord—quite the opposite. It was insignificant.

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 As crazy as this sounds, there are people with these beliefs who have no issue lecturing, sometimes unprovoked. From my encounters, I’ve learned that these mindsets are guarded, one-sided, fully judgmental, and unapologetic. Engaging a discussion on your individualistic point of view would be useless, because these people are not listening to you. They have no desire to know you yet have no issue claiming unrealistic points. Successfully ignoring their perspective and walking away has been shown to be the best debate.

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Walking away from ignorant instances can be difficult. The same can be said about sacrifices. I see my pregnant friends genuinely look envious when I have a drink in my hand. Sometimes they have even asked me to order and consume their favorite cocktail. Of course, I need to know which drink I am agreeing to before I say yes. I might love my friends, but I draw that love at Jägermeister.

 

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